I thought I would have more time to post regularly in the summer, but clearly that has not been the case. We have been busy with summer camps, the water park, and going out of town for a funeral. And I've been trying to get the house in order (as much as possible with 4 kids under the roof).
Anyway, earlier this week I read a post on Facebook about whether or not a mom should let her little boy (2 years old) cry himself to sleep in his own bed so he would stop sleeping in his parents' bed. Many well meaning friends commented encouraging her to "stay strong" and not to "give in". There are many books that explain how to get your kids to sleep by themselves, most of which involve letting them cry it out. The reality is that the U.S. is one of the few countries where babies sleeping in their parents' bed is looked down on and discouraged. And so there are also many books and doctors that encourage co-sleeping and explain the benefits.
We have always had our babies in our bed. Our oldest was a horrible sleeper and we were exhausted. Once we put him in our bed at night, we were all sleeping better. I found it easier to nurse in the middle of the night since I didn't have to get out of the bed. In general I am against the cry it out approach. We managed with one of ours to get him to sleep in his own bed all night, and he only cried a few minutes. That was no big deal, and it did make our lives easier to have a good sleeper. What I don't like is when parents are convinced that the cry it out approach is the only way to go just because their friends and family have convinced them that the baby does not belong in their bed. Babies are all different with their own personalities, and some naturally need more contact (some need constant contact) with their parents. Some don't have any trouble sleeping in their own beds and seem to "sleep throught the night" from the beginning. When babies cry alone in their cribs for 30 minutes or an hour or longer it is heart wrenching for the parents, and to me it is not worth it.
Of course when babies turn into toddlers many parents just want their bed back to themselves, and I understand that. All of ours just simply moved out to their own beds when they were ready. Now that we have a toddler again (who starts out in his pack and play and moves to our bed when he wakes up) and looking back on that time with our older ones I wouldn't have changed a thing. We had some precious times snuggling with our babies, and in the blink of an eye they are too big and don't want to snuggle anymore.
The bottom line is that parents need to do what is best for their family. And this might be something different for each child in a family. I don't think there is any one right answer or method for everyone. Parenting is such a tremendous job that no one should be judged for how they choose sleep in their home. I like to say that as long as everyone is sleeping, and no one wakes me up, I don't care where everyone sleeps.
Anyway, earlier this week I read a post on Facebook about whether or not a mom should let her little boy (2 years old) cry himself to sleep in his own bed so he would stop sleeping in his parents' bed. Many well meaning friends commented encouraging her to "stay strong" and not to "give in". There are many books that explain how to get your kids to sleep by themselves, most of which involve letting them cry it out. The reality is that the U.S. is one of the few countries where babies sleeping in their parents' bed is looked down on and discouraged. And so there are also many books and doctors that encourage co-sleeping and explain the benefits.
We have always had our babies in our bed. Our oldest was a horrible sleeper and we were exhausted. Once we put him in our bed at night, we were all sleeping better. I found it easier to nurse in the middle of the night since I didn't have to get out of the bed. In general I am against the cry it out approach. We managed with one of ours to get him to sleep in his own bed all night, and he only cried a few minutes. That was no big deal, and it did make our lives easier to have a good sleeper. What I don't like is when parents are convinced that the cry it out approach is the only way to go just because their friends and family have convinced them that the baby does not belong in their bed. Babies are all different with their own personalities, and some naturally need more contact (some need constant contact) with their parents. Some don't have any trouble sleeping in their own beds and seem to "sleep throught the night" from the beginning. When babies cry alone in their cribs for 30 minutes or an hour or longer it is heart wrenching for the parents, and to me it is not worth it.
Of course when babies turn into toddlers many parents just want their bed back to themselves, and I understand that. All of ours just simply moved out to their own beds when they were ready. Now that we have a toddler again (who starts out in his pack and play and moves to our bed when he wakes up) and looking back on that time with our older ones I wouldn't have changed a thing. We had some precious times snuggling with our babies, and in the blink of an eye they are too big and don't want to snuggle anymore.
The bottom line is that parents need to do what is best for their family. And this might be something different for each child in a family. I don't think there is any one right answer or method for everyone. Parenting is such a tremendous job that no one should be judged for how they choose sleep in their home. I like to say that as long as everyone is sleeping, and no one wakes me up, I don't care where everyone sleeps.
